In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Baggage Check.”
My past is riddled with impactful experiences. Harnessing the awareness of how and when my past influences my decision making has cost me considerable time and pain. In my thirties, I was very much a walking trigger. I was in reactionary mode and my many injuries and mental skirmishes were so enmeshed with who I thought I was, it was virtually impossible to escape them. It wasn’t until I began to pursue self development courses, and acting classes that I began to unravel the tangles of emotional responses that ran me. It is hard to accept the extent of which this condition costs us our freedom. The freedom of choice without bias or automatic responses.
We are conditioned to behave a certain way, to think and react a certain way. We continue to blindly make the same choices based on past experiences. Growth is fleeting when we operate in this way. More than often it takes an epiphany, or a complete dismantling of life as we know it before we are able to awaken to the idea that life requires alteration, that we may create from a clear and conscious .mind.
Also in my thirties, when my marriage ended, and I moved to another city; I naively thought that my unhappiness would end. Only then did the question of where happiness comes from begin to stir. I have a jovial disposition most of the time, and was able to ride on the tail of this joy for quite a while without question.
Interestingly enough, with all the work, examination, self help reading and courses, all the questioning I have arrived at a place where acceptance and forgiveness are more prevalent in my psyche. Happiness comes from within, and meditation makes a profound difference in the way I take life in. I like to keep it simple, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
For the most part, I just try to be as awake as I can be.
That has been my experience,