In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Finite Creatures.”
It is an odd combination, but my debilitating shyness seemed to be coupled by a strange fearlessness. At the age of 15 when returning from a night of dancing I would not think twice of walking down darkened back allies if it saved me steps. I was fused with the resilience of youth and had not an inkling that any danger could ever befall me. Alive and teaming with energy and ideas was my lot.
It was not until my 40th birthday that a new notion crept into my stream of endless possibilities. There was something about the number. I remember the thought clearly. What occurred to me was 40 plus 40 is 80, suddenly I was faced with the notion that it was feasable my life was half over. This very insight put me in line with the mortal, something that up to now had not come to mind. It was shocking, some accident of nature. I felt no different than I ever had. I was ageless, I felt no connection what so ever to this idea of anything being half over. But I could not deny that the number that now described some part of my experience was 40, half of 80. It was a conundrum that sat quietly in the corner of my mind, and whispered words of concern to a presence that stood in defiance of the whole idea. A “head to head” was in the making.
Well, I am back at feeling ageless, and I do not remember how long I was plagued by the gross idea of mortality, but it got old (pardon the pun) and I must have eventually dropped it. Instead, I ‘ve developed a new found respect for this body that is what my consciousness has to play with. I may treat it a bit gentler and give it considerations that were in the exuberance of youth overlooked. It appears my body is embroiled with some sort of chronological dance, but that is not me. I am back to being immortal. That which animates me is spirit and energy which may transform but not de-vaporise. So upward and onward. Enjoy the dance and if you choose, jump on this band wagon of waking up to the knowledge that eternal awareness lives on.